LIGHT- Day 11

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3 days to go. Final Covid test day.

O.k. I’m over this now. I am ready to LEAVE!!

I woke up at 7:30am to a “knock knock, room service!”

‘They are early today’, I thought before rolling out of bed and sleepily shuffling my feet over to open the door. I collected my brown paper bag with breakfast inside. Garlic field mushrooms on ciabatta toast. My Saturday morning meal. Yummy. I love mushrooms.

I open the blinds to see what the outside world looks like. More sunshine and blue sky today.

It’s Saturday so instead of instantly sitting at my laptop to work I decided that I would drink my coffee and lay in bed and read.

I could still see the view outside my window – the cars driving past, the autumn leaves, the kiwi style bungalows on the hill in Remuera, the one palm tree and my friend, the tree. The angle has slightly changed so now I see that there is another tree, next to my friend. I’m pretty sure these are acorn trees. This other tree is free of Ivy around his trunk,  unlike my friend and also has no leaves. Just large bare branches.

I opened my book.

In the opening of “Becoming”  Michelle Obama talks about how strange she felt as a young girl being asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?’ As if growing up is so finite. And then she lists everything she has ‘been’ up until this point and who she is becoming.

Here in inbetween, Inbetween worlds and in between life, well almost, but not quite. Not there yet Amy! I think about everything I have ‘been’ up until now.  I mean, I know I am no Michelle, and have not ‘been’ anything nearly on the same scale. She has ‘been’ incredible things. But me, Amy Louise Waller.  What have I ‘been’? Hmmmm. I have been an affectionate daughter, a loving and cheeky middle sister, an adoring auntie, a daughter drowning in grief after losing her father,  a hardworking and eager to please student, an admiring grand daughter, a dancer, a choreographer, a theatre maker, an agent, a mermaid, (figuratively because I love the sea, but also, I literally was a mermaid with a giant tail for a children’s show at the Sydney Aquarium. Lol ). What else? I have been stuck – paralyzed by fear and endless rejection,  a nanny, a broken hearted ex-girlfriend, a voyager, alone traveling the world, a waitress, a friend, an actress – empowered on the stage, a date, a bartender, an actress living my dream on hollywood sets, a writer, a producer, an event coordinator, a lover, a loving partner, a creator, a swimmer, a self-isolator, and now I guess I have been a blogger (which I never thought I would ever do).

What will I become next? I’m sure that a lot of those will stay but what else will be added to the pot or plot, after this little hiatus. This little pause and time of reflection.

The phone rings loudly!

I jump out of my bed.

‘Hi Amy! It’s Lucy from the Ministry of Health. Are you ok to come down and get your Day 11 test? Just remember to bring the paperwork filled out and your passport.”

“Yes! I said “I’ll be there in ten minutes”.

For some reason I said these words in an American accent so she could understand me.

I forgot for a second where I was.

I quickly filled out the paperwork that a young, green member of the Navy had given me the night before. He knocked on my door during my harmonica practice  and very nervously handed me the paperwork. Maybe he thought I was a famous musician. Bahaha!

I walked out into the foyer. A security guard was near the restaurant. There were also two police officers. 

The security said “testing?”. I said yes and he led me to the outdoor area which is usually closed off. 

Outside were a lot of the guests that I recognized from my flight. The attractive couple in black with their two blonde 8 or 9 year-old sons. The attractive woman was wearing pretty eye makeup and nice gold earrings that dangled, framing her black mask. She looks nice, I thought. Inspired to maybe go and put some makeup on myself today.  The family with the two toddlers were also there, and the two parents with the blonde little girl who lost the frisbee. They had just finished getting their tests and were spending time in this restricted outdoor area, before being asked to leave. 

I walked through them, keeping my distance and waited.

No one from my flight had tested positive on Day 3. In fact, no one had tested positive in this hotel for about 4 weeks but I still knew it was important to be careful.

I waited in line until my name was called. 

Nurse Jackie was very nice. She took my passport and sat me down and asked me to pull my mask down below my nose. 

There was a man next to me who was videoing himself getting the swab put up his nose. Eww. I wouldn’t like to click on that IG story. 

The second time was still strange and uncomfortable but easier then the first. I laughed and screamed lightly at the same time. 

‘All done’ Nurse Jackie said sprightly. 

‘Thank you’, I said excitedly, knowing that that will be my last test here in isolation.

I went back inside and did some exercise in my room. I’ve been following an app on my phone called Sweat which has a lot of good ‘At Home’ workouts. 

“Testing testing 123, testing testing 123, testing testing 123!”, echoed loudly over the speaker in my room. “Yup, it’s working” I said to the speaker. 

“We are expecting a new plane arriving from 4:30pm – 6:40pm. You will not be able to leave your room until the check out is done. I repeat we are expecting a new arrival of guests today at 4:30 – 6:30pm so we require that everyone stays in their rooms during this time. Thank you everyone for your cooperation. We will do another announcement when it’s safe to leave your rooms. Stay safe everyone and enjoy your afternoon.” 

I looked at my phone and saw the time was 3:45pm. I decided to get another coffee and go outside again while I still could. 

Outside the air was crisp and the sun was shining through the clouds tiredly beginning it’s journey down. There was the smell of fresh grass and wood burning from someones fire place in the distance. It felt cozy. 

I saw a lot of new faces. Well half of their faces. Lots of new people who I hadn’t seen before. They must have just arrived. More Kiwis from all parts of the world. Coming home.

There were also the regulars.

The attractive family with the woman who had the nice earrings were playing with a drone thingy. For a second I thought it was someone from the media trying to get an inside shot of us ‘inmates’ for Newshub. 

I walked around in circles and took everyone in. 

A man wearing an orange jacket and a blue mask was talking to a family member through the fence. Three guests stood on the yellow crosses smoking 2m apart. The mother and daughter power walking/talking duo were marching intently around the grounds. The UFC fighters. The three of them were training in the parking lot. I think one of the guys recently fought in Vegas. They were shuffling around in circles, firing jabs at each other. 

I kept walking. 

There was a woman doing shuttle runs. Back and forth, back and forth, Two kids sitting two metres apart drinking hot chocolates awkwardly under their masks and a father and son sitting on the ledge near my window playing chess.

I watched everyone, smiling at them under my mask. How beautiful is this? Everyone is creative, present, spending time with each other and making the best of the situation. This is love. This is light. 

This is hope. 

A feeling I haven’t felt for a while. 

This is important to hang onto I thought through these scary times. This is what will get the world through this. Human connection. Love. Relationships. People. Creativity. People are the most important thing. And this country takes such good care of its people.

I suddenly felt lighter.

I sat down on the ledge in front of my friend the tree. The sun peeped through the clouds and I felt it shine warmly on my cheek. 

I closed my eyes and soaked it in. 

I pulled my mask down. 

Deep breath. 

I pulled my mask back up. 

Later that evening, inspired by the attractive woman with her makeup on and pretty earrings, I decided to shower and dress myself as if I was going out. Just a normal Saturday night. 

I washed and blow dried my hair, put on jeans, heeled boots, a nice top and my favorite jacket. 

I put on makeup for the first time in 2 weeks or probably more like a month. 

It felt good. Motivated and ready for a great night! 

I put on my favorite hat and texted Brett asking him out for a date night zoom dinner. “Sure!”, he said. 

I poured a glass of wine and put on some music. I decided to branch out and sit in a new spot in my room. This tiny, mini, little cushioned bench thing which connects the bed to the desk.  Not my regular favorite table in restaurant 0058, sitting opposite the tree, but it is a nice change. 

I set up my laptop and clicked on the link Brett sent me.

There was a knock at the door and I told him that our dinner had arrived. Well mine. Brett had actually already eaten because he was five hours ahead. Well actually 19 hours behind. I am in the future. He is in the past. It was late, last Friday night where he was.

Anyway tonight I had ordered a lovely roast chicken dinner, with steamed broccoli and roasted pumpkin. 

With a kiwi classic, pavlova for dessert! Yum! 

We chatted while I ate and then I told him I had planned a special treat. A  little concert starring me and my harmonica. 

I played him the songs I had learned. Well the one song I had learned. “The Piano Man” a few times over. And he laughed and clapped and praised me. 

We eventually said goodbye and I decided to put on some music and dance around my room. For a second I  pretended that I was in a bar on Ponsonby Road, or at a saturday night party with friends. Weird to think that soon I will be able to do stuff like that again. With real life people around me, talking, laughing, dancing, hugging, enjoying life, letting loose. Safely, with no risk of catching or spreading the virus. No anxiety.

I looked at the sun setting behind the tree in my window. “Cheers”, I said to my friend. 

Another day gone. Tomorrow I will only have 2 more nights left! 

Dance party song of the day:  “The Piano Man” Billy Joel.

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